Five Surprising Ways I’m Like My Dad

A tribute for Father's Day

“You look just like your mom.” Those are always the first words out of anyone’s mouth who knows my mom and is meeting me for the first time. Admittedly, my mom and I have many things in common. Namely, a talkative nature and knack for strong opinions. But lately, I’ve been noticing more and more the ways that I’m like my dad.

On first glance, my dad and I don’t seem to have much in common. My good high school friend once half-joked that he had never heard my dad talk. That was obviously false, but had enough truth to it to be funny.

But for all that our personalities are different, his influence has definitely rubbed off on me.

An absurdist sense of humor

When I was a kid, my mom would play a game while we were waiting in restaurants: What Else Could This Be? In it, she challenged me to reimagine common objects. A sugar packet could be a doll’s pillow. A salt shaker could be a rocket ship. But no matter what the original object was, my dad always had the same answer: a pirogi. Yep, the Eastern European dumpling. When I was a kid, I would roll my eyes, but now I find that answer hysterical. Although I usually can’t reach that level of absurd humor, my husband is a master at it.

A deep pride in my work and desire to talk about it

The other thing my dad always did at restaurants was actively notice their condiments. He worked in food sales, which is a bit thankless. But he would always comment, “Hey, that’s one of ours,” and show genuine joy when he saw a sugar packet or other product that he represented. (I kind of miss that now that he’s retired.)

I work in a very different industry – communications – but also feel deep pride when I see my work posted somewhere. Instead of commenting at restaurants, I post links on Facebook and Bluesky.

Tendency to have deep conversations in transit

My dad tends to sit back and listen when my mom talks. And like me, my mom talks a lot. So I always had the best conversations with my dad when my mom wasn’t there, especially in the car. Years of driving me to the library and swim practice added up to many hours spent together. While I don’t remember any particular conversation, I always felt listened to and comfortable. No matter what it was, my answers to his questions were always the right ones. Much of the time we would just listen to the radio and that was okay too.

Now, our family drives far fewer places than I did as a kid. We often walk or bike places instead. But many of our best conversations are en route to somehwere else.

Verbally identifying favorite music when it comes on the radio

When I was a little kid, I sincerely believed my dad knew every song ever recorded. After all, he recognized every song that came on the radio or the speaker system at the mall. It didn’t occur to me that all of those songs were from a 20 year time span from the late 60s to the early 80s.

Every time, he would say, “Hey, this is a great song!” More often than not, he would follow that up with a bit of semi-obscure trivia like “Did you know that Blue Oyster Cult’s original name was Soft White Underbelly?” (I know he’ll love this article from Rolling Stone.) These days, I hear myself saying, “Hey, this is a great song!” to my kids on a regular basis.

Love of old fashioned newspapers

Even in this day and age, my dad regularly reads the paper. Often out loud to you. Even if it’s an article you’ve already read yourself.

But you know what? So do I. After not getting the paper for years, I recently started subscribing to the Sunday edition (plus digital archives) of the Washington Post. When I find the time, I really enjoy sitting down with the physical paper, from the advice column to the comics. The regular presence of the paper in my childhood home definitely helped inspire my personal and professional love of journalism.

Being extremely enthusiastic about “treasures” from nature

Whenever I took a hike with my dad as a kid, he always managed to find a vaguely sharp rock and declare “it’s an arrowhead!” (He’s pulled this with my children as well.) While I tend more on the side of accuracy, I do get inordinately excited about mundane things. I have sincerely declared rocks, moss, trees, and bugs “so cool!” to my kids.

A deep love for my family

My mom certainly has a deep love for her family too – we’re all very close. But my dad set my expectations for what to expect from a father. Any man I married would need to meet those standards as a dad. (Thankfully, my husband certainly does.) My dad also modeled so much for me in relationships – how to listen, be flexible in conflicts, and give people the benefit of the doubt.

In many wonderful ways, I am my father’s daughter.

I originally wrote this back in 2017, but updated a few things to bring it to the present day.

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There is a lot going on politically these days that’s hard to explain to kids. Thankfully, there are some wonderful folks out there who can help! Come Back to Care has terrific advice for talking to kids about the fight for immigrants’ rights.