Teaching Kids to Stand Up for What’s Right
Or the connections between Corey Booker and Mr. Rogers
“Is he still speaking?” my husband asked me as I was shuffling papers, trying to find my older kid’s Spanish homework in his overstuffed binder.
“Uh, let me see. I hope so,” I responded, checking my phone to see the latest news on Senator Cory Booker’s filibuster. “Yes, he’s still going!”
And he did keep going. Booker set the record for longest Senate filibuster, breaking the record of segregationist and notorious racist Strom Thurmond. He did so not by filling time but by sharing stories of how the current administration is hurting people across the country.
In a time of so much purposeful cruelty, it was refreshing and hopeful to share Booker’s example with my kids.* I talk a lot about standing up for what you believe in, but he was doing it literally!
Right now, it’s more important than ever to stand up for what we believe in, even if it’s hard and scary. These ideas can help you do so and teach your kids how to.
Look to modern examples
Or as Mr. Rogers said, “When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, ‘Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.’” Sharing examples of people standing up for what is right is empowering. It helps you and your kids remember that there is good out there when it’s easy to get cynical. While Cory Booker did the hardest work of the fillibuster, Democrats collaborated to put together the stories he was sharing and ask questions so he could take short breaks. My own senator, Chris Van Holland, recently traveled to El Salvador to investigate the absolute injustice that is happening there.
For kids, it’s especially helpful to see what other children or teenagers are doing. While Greta Van Thunberg is one of the most famous child activists, there are many all over the world. In my book, I profile a number of kids who have engaged in environmental activism, including Levi, the youngest activist involved in the national Juliana v. United States lawsuit for climate justice. On the gun violence front, March for Our Lives and Students Demand Action are both student-led organizations demanding change.
Explore historical heroes
During the most difficult times, there have always been people who have done what they believed to be morally right, no matter what the cost. Looking back at people in history, introduce your kids (and yourself!) to less well-known figures. During the Civil Rights movement, Georgia Gilmore helped finance the bus boycott by baking pies. In the disability rights movement, Judith Heumann led a takeover of a federal building; other disability activists literally dragged themselves up the steps of Congress. (The Drunk History episode about disability rights is supposed to be excellent.) As you read about these people, it’s important to not fall into the trap of assuming you would be like them. Use their actions as inspiration for action today!
Model for your kids
You can’t stop at sharing other people as examples. As the Mr. Rogers’ quote is about speaking to children, there needs to be an addendum for adults - “And then become the helpers yourself.” You need to be an example for your kids. If you’re attending a protest, tell your kids that you are and explain why. Look into when your county or city council has time for residents to speak - our city’s is called resident’s forum. See if there an issue you care deeply about that you want to make your local government aware of.
You can also model using experiences from your past. Personal stories are a powerful teaching tool. Tell stories to your kids about a time you stood up for something you believed in and how it made you feel. You can even share your failures - what were times that you didn’t do it, what happened, and how did you act differently in the future? Those can demonstrate how you grew as a person, which is often just as important.
Role play
Standing up for what is right isn’t always about policy. Sometimes it’s about intervening when someone else is in crisis, like being bullied in school or harassed on the street. Unfortunately, for many of us, our first reaction is to freeze because we don’t know what to do.
Bystander intervention training can help prepare all of us to intervene. An important part of this training is role-playing. Being able to know what to say and do as well as practice it can help when you or your kids are faced with a similar situation.
For younger kids or kids less interested in formal education, role-playing in more play-based environments can be helpful too. Playing out a scenario where there may be difficult consequences for standing up for what is right with stuffed animals or in a Dungeons and Dragons game can help prepare for real-life situations. In fact, I take great inspiration from one of my favorite game masters, Brennan Lee Mulligan. On a podcast, he talked about how the D&D game he manages relates to the current moment: “Rage is not an inappropriate emotion to feel right now. But I’m going to find purpose. That is the clarifying thing, to go, in the face of this horror, the path forward is the clarity from having seen the abyss … do not lose the one element that can aid you and the people in jeopardy, which is clarity. The is the worst thing you’ve ever seen and now you have clarity. Use that to fix this.”
Support your kids when they speak up
Speaking up often isn’t popular and can rattle the authority of people in power. Emphasize that courage in the service of kindness is more important than popularity. Provide emotional support if your child loses a friend over standing up for what they believe in. If your child gets in trouble with school for taking a stand, side with your child and find ways to make it right for other children in the future.
Standing up for what is right is rarely easy. However, it can be fulfilling, meaningful, and even joyous. We have the responsibility to kids now and in the future to stand up and make our voices heard, even if they tremble in the process.
How do you teach your kids to stand up for what is right?
For ongoing opportunities to stand up, check out Indivisible. In particular, there are No Kings protests around the country against Trump’s giant military parade on June 14.
*Note: I know some people have serious issues with Booker’s other policies and thought it was performative. I don’t agree with all of his stances, but I do think the filibuster was a great act of bravery.