Why I Didn't Make a Sign for My Kid's First Day of School
On what we choose to opt out from and why
The first day of preschool for my older son, I made a controversial parenting decision. I chose not to make him a “first day of school” sign. For that matter, I’ve never made one in the seven years since then either.
As I said on my personal Facebook page as the time: “I was going to make a sign for [my son] to hold on his first day of preschool tomorrow. But I fell asleep in his room while trying to get him to sleep and woke up at 10:40. And now it’s12:30 and it’s still not done. Maybe next year!”
My friends cleverly suggested a few work-arounds. “You can do it this week and say you forgot!” or “You can use Photoshop!”
But I didn’t take a single one of them.
I realized feeling like I “should” make one had nothing to do with my kid’s well-being. He could care less if he had a sign or not! In fact, it would just make one more thing to worry about during the photo-taking process. Smiling, looking at the camera, and staying still were already challenging enough for a three-year-old.
No, I wanted to make one because “everyone else” did. While it would have been nice, I wasn’t going to increase my substantial sleep debt and stress level to do so. Nor was I going to feel guilty or “less than” for skipping it.
The amount of time and effort we put into “extras” doesn’t signify our love for our children. As one of my friends said, “Having or not having a sign is NOT indicative of whether you’re a good parent or not.” All children need certain things from their parents: love, hugs, acceptance, food, shelter, safety, and attention. Note: signs aren’t on that list. Neither are fancy birthday parties, elaborate bento boxes, or anything else crafty.
That doesn’t mean that signs and other extras are bad! I admire my friend’s ability to deftly decorate a chalkboard with swirly, multi-colored writing for her son’s first day of kindergarten.
Instead, these extras need to serve our needs instead of arbitrary standards set by social media.
Personally, I don’t spend my time and energy doing “extras” unless they have personal significance for my family. For me, making homemade Halloween costumes is important because I have fond memories of my mom sewing mine. In addition, doing our family costumes are an awesome shared experience. Similarly, baking homemade pies, building gingerbread houses, and cutting down our own Christmas tree are beloved family traditions. (Although my mom has taken over gingerbread house duty!) They have weight and meaning for us long after a photo on social media has come and gone.
Those of you who enjoy making elaborate chalkboard signs with fancy pictures, rock on! And for those of you like me, who just don’t or can’t, that’s cool too. As long as you’re making memories for the sake of your family and not anyone else, you’re doing great.